"How can I order wine in a restaurant without looking stupid?"
Ms B1tch says, do not fret! As long as you do not order "White Zenfandel" you will not risk server looking at you askance! Oh, but you say, white zen is what you like! well, then order it, but, server will make a face as server turns from table, and as the white zen is poured from the single lonely dust-covered bottle kept just for the few who still drink white zen, they will curl their lip and wish they could tell you to order something else!
There is nothing wrong with asking the server, "What do you suggest?" If they look puzzled or frightened by this answer, then you know more than they do, so just order whatever sounds good to you!
It is always okay to ask for "the house white" or "the house red"
Pinot Noir is always a good choice - it's light enough to go with many things!
And if you want to know how to pronounce wine and wine related, go to this page!
Mostly, Ms B says to just enjoy your dinner, enjoy your wine, and smile and be happy! We all love to see customers/patrons enjoying their dining experience. There is nothing so satisfying as the sounds coming from a good dining night: clinking of silverware against the plate, sounds of wine pouring into wine glasses, the murmur of many different voices, laughter, the smells of foods in the kitchen, and if Ms B goes into kitchen, the sounds of Chef shouting out orders, the cooks sauteing baking chopping stirring whipping ....
Ahhhhhhhh. Food. Wine.