Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Ms B is here! and then gone...THEN HERE...then gone..HERE. gone ..here gone -

Ms. B1tch is ever so much sorry she is rarely around and ever so much sorry she doesn't get to visit! She is ever so much ready to bop her alter ego across her head and tell her to stop stop and stop again! Round and round her alter-ego goes, first this and then that...Ms. B needs some time, too...harumph!

Ms. B1tch was watching the teley. Ms B was in particular watching Top Chef. Ms B1tch was pissed off! Why, they let go the handsome Jeff! That man wasn't only a pretty face! that man could cook oh so prettily, too.....oh Ms B knows what that network is doing! Ms. B knows they are waiting for the long-haired simpering boring girl to get busy with the big tall bald tentative guy! Ms B thinks that's been doused by the waters of shame - which Ms B rolls her eyes to...

Ms B's roommate saw in fine print where the producers of the show consult with the letting go and keeping, too! ha! harumph! cheating!

Ah well - it is only a teleyvision show. But, Ms B still stomped her foot and pointed at the screen and said, "BRING BACK MY HANDSOME JEFF YOU GODDAMMERS!" Alas, they didn't listen.

Ms. B is HUNGRY for something different - people people - what can I eat---and dont one of you nasties email me and say "EAT THIS MS B" and then send me a photo of your dingly dongly! Unless you are Jeff, or Gordon Ramsey --no no, on second thought, I do not want to see your dingly donglys either - I want you to cook something for me - ahhhhhhh, then we'll see what happens next --what? DESSERT happens next - and no! that is not a metaphor for dancing in the sheets! tee.hee.blush.tee

Thank you for the emails ms holly - I meant to put them here and then I did not - oh heavy heavy sigh I hardly have a moment to myself - um, er, except when I'm watching Top Chef or gazing at Gordon Ramsey's quirky mouth quirked as he says, #**#*$#*$# #**# F*#&$*# YOU#*$# SH*#$#* f***e&r* " ahhhhhh....a god of words! A veritable man of the alphabet!

Now, I must flee, see? I most go, joe. I must be jolly, holly....this could go on and on.....

Ms B will try to get better about stopping by and about posting....oh heavy sigh.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Ms B1tch is b1tching!

Ms. B is in a bone-picking mood. Ms B1tch just feels like b1tching. But she did laugh at your comments and maybe Mrs Nancy will, too!

Ms B1tch loves food - good fine food, but Ms B will eat not so fine food, too! Sometimes she sees things on the tele and just has to try them so she can pass on her wisdom here and there and far and near. So since Ms B loves panini's, she kept seeing ads for panini's from some frozen food company that rhymes with Scream Quazeem. Ms. B took it from its package - ugh...didn't look like it looked on teleyvision. She put it in microwave ...oh Ms B should know better! Mr Gordan Ramsey would be so very angry and disappointed in Ms B's choice of foodstuffs. He would say, "That is #*$&# crap! that is #*$# sh*T! " and he'd throw it in the garbage, which after one bite is what ms B did! Ugh! False advertising...ugh ugh! Ms B knows better - fresh is always best...still...sometimes Ms B is in the mood for E A S Y(shhhhh). but no more scream quazeem panini for Ms B *vomiticus americanus*

Then, Ms B was watching shows on what rhymes with Scrood Fretwerk. What is wrong with these people? Why are they getting louder and louder and more annoying by the minute? Why does Paula Deen have to laugh like Rosanne Barr and show all the food in her mouth....eeek! Paula Deen is getting too loud and too big for her breeches. Ms B hates that - because she used like that gentle old show with that gentle southern woman. Now, Ms B hurries and changes the channel. At least Scrood Frewerk finally put Big Boy Pants on Guy Fieri...teehee -- he's cute despite when he smushes a cupcake all over his mouth - eyewww! Stuff in the beard! stuff in the beard! Gorden Ramsey must be shaking his head in disgust and going "beep beep beep beep *#*#."

Then Ms B1tch saw a write up online about bellybuttons and how certain belly buttons are pretty and some are not and now men look at women's bellybuttons and decide if they are attractive or not! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! Now our damned bellybuttons have to be perfect and cute, too (even though mine is, of course, ha.ha) ...? Not enough we have to stay young and beautiful forever - but even our bellybuttons are not safe from scrutiny. Ha! Ms B scoffs at that! Ms B says we REVOLT!

Okay, now, Ms B has some things off her chesticle area. Maybe she is just hungry. Maybe a nice bowl of hot creamy corn bisque will quieten her beast. yes.

When Ms B returns, she will be calm - okay, she will not, but then why should she? tee.hee to the tee.hee.hee!