Sunday, August 23, 2009

Ms. B is not dead! ha! She has been doing exciting wonderous things- envy Her!

So, did you think I had died? haha! I have not - I have been busy. Oh, Ms. B1tch leads a facinating and exciting life. You must envy Ms B for her life - how wonderous it is. Ahhh...

Perhaps I was in Paris, or London, or Rhode Island - ha! I thought Rhode Island needed a mention since no one ever remembers that little place, bless its heart.

Ms. B1tch may disappear this way sometimes. She also knows that people will stop coming by, because they will become sad and disallusioned that Ms. B1tch doesn't stick around. They will miss her and cry and sob and rail and tear their clothes asunder....well, what can Ms B say?

Ms. B has been watching some teley too -- yes she has. First, Ms B has to say to Food Network - WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ? Then she clicks on over to Bravo and laughs and laughs because Bravo may be "getting it" where as Food Network has their panties all around their ankles and their eyes are glazed and they are saying "who what where when how why?" Of course, maybe they are doing this all the way to the bank! ha!

On the stove is delight delight! Too bad you aren't here to eat any ....

Ms B has so much to tell - where to start? where to begin? yet, dinner awaits . . .

And Ms B1tch often disappears . . . to magical places filled with magical people in magical magicalities

And you thought I would never return - hahahahha! I am an enigma!

On to a good glass of wine and a tasty dinner, where I won't be watching the never ending never ending never ending never ending CAKES CAKES CAKES on food network - for god's sake FN - stop it with the cakes! And I won't be watching the soccer moms - oh Ms. B doesn't want to offend (but if she does, *shrug*) but the soccer moms bore the snot out of her pretty little pert nose til said snot is running amok to get away from boring telley shows. And bless her heart, but Ms B has become tired of Paula Deen screeching...and she used to love her so...oh dear, maybe Paula Deen will listen to Ms. B1tch and tone it the hell down for god's sake! Go watch your earlier shows my pretty Deen and see what Ms B is saying - she knows much, she does - listen!
Perhaps Ms B'll turn to Bravo and listen to the *beep beep- you beep beep* of the contestants on Top Chef - no soccer mommys cooks there! No screeching, no screaming unless it's at another contestant - ohhhhhhhh! naughty!
Ms B adooorreesss Ina Garten though - you go Ina! go go go and keep on going (although, Ms B has one little bone to pick with her dainty teeth -- do you not have any other clothes? Such an attractive woman to wear those ....duds).

Oh! But Ms B sees where Ms Sandra Dee, or is that Lee? on FN has changed her format - ha! And so she should have - all that matchy matchy decor to her dress and shoes and was a bit creepy and OCD'ey --not that Ms B doesn't have OCD -often chows down - ha! yes, that was funny - okay, it was I care? NO Ms B cares not! But Ms. Sandra La la Lee -I hope you learned your lesson! You finally listened to Ms B1tch didn't you? And why are you in your jammies in that photo? Trying to Sex It UP Ms. Sandra - ha! ha! keep are almost there.

tata - time to eat --- a luscious red sauce with tender meatballs - the sauce cooked for hours and hours until thick and dark red --- the meatballs sizzled until just done and juicy -- and a good red wine of my choosing. Perhaps a salad - yes....with fresh tomatoes - do not put your tomatoes in the fridge - Horrors! -- and some salted radishes - ohhhh....


Fantastic Forrest said...

It is high time you got yourself back over here and shared your insightful observations on the world of foodies.

I wish you would come out here. My neighbor just shared a bunch of lovely fresh figs she picked, and her bumper crop of heirloom tomatoes is about to come in...and she is grateful because I watered them as seedlings. YUM!!

So next time, forget about Paris, London and RI. Visit us in the Pacific NW and gorge on goodness.


Barry said...

Hush! Be very quiet!

Frankenstein's monster is showing clear signs of reanimation. Just when we thought it was well and truly gonners, and safe to remove from our Favorites List, the beast is starting to stir.

Stirring a luscious red sauce with tender meatballs no less!

Be afraid, be very afraid.

Narender Kumar said...

Wine In India
what a blog

Barry said...

I was sure I saw a flicker of life, but it seems MsB has gone again.

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Fantastic Forrest said...

Ms. B1tch! Here is a fun clip for you with Gordon Ramsey and Sesame Street's Swedish Chef. Much nicer than a viagra ad from anonymous, if I do say so myself:

Small Footprints said...

Hey, Ms. B ... just wanted to swing by and wish you a very Happy New Year! I'm glad that you're still around ... kinda sorta!

I totally agree with your very scientific review of Food Network. I'd add that I positively won't watch a program (or eat in a restaurant) that has the word "Eats" in it. Okay ... I'm done!

Take Care!

Small Footprints

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